And...we're back.

lots of new stuff and new ideas. The blog is back...in a big way. I am very fed up and disinterested in facebook for two reasons: 1) I have more to say than little snippets of crap that I post just to be involved somehow and 2) I want simple, and facebook has become anything but.

So, why the blog again? I have wanted to keep a beer journal for a long time and this will give me the opportunity to do that. Now the blog is going to be a beer journal that also addresses music, theology, philosophy and politics...sounds pretty sweet - let's see if that lasts at all.

So, here is an update to fit all of these categories. A new beer that I had this week was a Creme Brulee Stout from Southern Tier (http://www.southerntierbrewing.com/for%20download%20page/downloads_cremebrulee.html), which was excellent, but a little on the sweet side for any more than 8-12 oz.

In music, I have been very pleased with the new A7X album, Nightmare, which debuted last week. With the death of their drummer, Jimmy "Rev" Sullivan, I was not sure what direction they would take. There is a lot of Metallica in this album, but it is good Metallica. Dream Theater drummer, Mike Portnoy, drummed on the album.

Creme Brulee Stout - B+

Nightmare - A-

b

Revitalizing

i am well aware that not many, including myself, are familiar with this particular blog. I have not posted in quite some time. I have been told that there are dangers about having an outlet such as this. These dangers could put my career(s) in jeopardy, etc. I will henceforth be cautious in my approach to what I write; however, I do feel compelled to write.

It is with great pleasure (not really) that I reintroduce my blog. I would like to still be directed toward political and religious issues, but I am also going to use it for the other things I love as well, such as music. I used to post blogs on myspace about music (nobody cared about those either), but I will at least have a record for myself of what I have been previously thinking.

Quick updates: new job(s); with Megan for two years; Dad is moving back in with me. New NoFX came out this week.

Benazir Bhutto

it is a very unfortunate trun of events that invites me to write again. I have long been neglecting my "blogging duties" due to lack of time and motivation. The addening events of last week have affected me deeply and I would like to share with you how I feel.

Not many know about the political framework of other countries, particularly those in the Middle East. Pakistan has faced a great deal of change and up-and-down scenarios politically over the last few decades and being associated with the harboring of terrorists certainly does not help the overall status of the country. Benazir Bhutto's assassination last week only adds fuel to the fire, as many are being killed and arrested for the riots that have ensued following the tragic loss. Bhutto had recently returned from self-exile to run for Prime Minister. Many are greatly opposed to Islam because of the role that women play, so this is indeed tragic on many levels. However, what many do not realize is that she has served as PM twice previously, only to be overthrown by another governing force. This is a loss on a political, religious, and gender-related front. I encourage any who read this to research this issue and educate yourselves on Islam as a whole, considering that there is hope for Islam in fighting against the tyrannical role that terrorism is playing in the present state of the religion. Keep in mind that Islamic extremists are a very minute faction of the religion and that many are opposed to their ideals and practices. Please mourn the loss of this crucial figure in contemporary Islam and join with me in hoping that soon we might see more like her in every religion and political structure around the world.


b

On Teaching

suffice it to say, teaching is certainly the most rewarding thing I have done in recent years. I have completed only my first full week of class and already was lucky enough to experience the ultimate high that teaching provides. Following what I felt was a poor showing on the first day, which was a disastrous and near incoherent run through the syllabus, and my first day of lecture, which left me wondering what the hell I was doing in front of a classroom, I was blessed with today.

Its difficult enough to work a full-time job and teach a course, especially when it happens to be that you have never taught the course before and must prepare for every class in full. I was tired. Work was exhausting and frustrating (as work can often be) and I was nervous about class. Things began at a minimal pace and it was difficult to engage the students. They were required to read Epic of Gilgamesh and we were to go over the material and hold discussion. Discussion was merely a blip on the radar at twenty minutes in. I tried everything I could to relate the material to their lives and an upcoming assignment. Just when I thought that this was brutally representative of my ineffectiveness as a professor, someone spoke...responded...with something of substance to say.

In an instant, the entire class dynamic changed. I was no longer the boring professor who watches the girl in the back blow bubbles and curl her hair. No longer was I, a supposed purveyor of knowledge, watching the young man to my left doing the, "you're so boring I can't stay awake" continual head nod. I was for the next forty-five minutes, Professor Adams. I was teaching, students were responding to the material and writing down eagerly (at least most of them) the things I had to say. No writing on the board; it felt like some were holding on to my every word. I gave them something. I prepared them to succeed on their first assignment. I taught them.

Joy. Joy is the only word that I can think of to describe how I am feeling about my class today. I know that what happens in the future will not always feel this way, but I am one of the lucky few who were and will be fortunate enough to have a great day before a terrible one. Then I will look back and say...that is why I do what I do.


b

Off the Beaten, Narrow-minded Path

i read another one of Ann Coulter's stupid ass opinion pieces today. This one was extra special because its subject was the late Jerry Falwell. In this expose, Coulter affirms the ultra-conservatism that the reverend was so well known for. She spends only a couple of brief paragraphs on the figure of Falwell before going on a ridiculous rant about that Teletubbie that is supposed to be gay. She literally talks about the purse that this fictional character carries around then on the death of a friend, someone who was important to her career and definitely in her neoconservative corner. Not only do I find this somewhat offensive (and I very much disliked the late reverend), but a blatant exemplar of poor writing. She is a genius when it comes to marketing, "be controversial, it sells" and "extremist anti-extremism" must be serious business tags for her, but I feel like her education is being wasted on the attempt to appeal to Bush-loving, uneducated yet highly opinionated, southern folk instead of the good for anyone.

ode pt. 2

its very cool to me that while I very much intended for this bipartite "ode" to address a specific concern, I have had other occurrences in the past few days to express joy about as well. Yesterday, for instance, was one of the greatest days ever. It began very poorly because I was bored out of my noggin until about two o'clock. Then I was able to fix my dryer before hanging out at home depot, which proves time and time again to be a phenomenal passtime; that and loitering. I had to attend a wedding last night that I was not fired up about in the slightest. Turns out to be a great time and it was very short, even the reception. Best part about it, however, was having Antonio, Steve's son, finally open up to me. He is three and a half and I missed his first years while I was in St. Louis, so he has always been a bit skeptical of my existence. We played with rocks, putting them in a fountain and then counting them together, it was so awesome. Then I went out with some people from work for drinko de mayo, also fun.

This perfectly segues into the next part of the ode. I ended up over at the girls house, cause I tend to put myself through hell for the sake of a good time. Not that any part of it was bad, I only wish we could spent better time together. Regardless, I said some things in part one of this creamy expose that I was very much enthralled by this particular young lady, which is definitely the case; for God's sake, she wants to open up a music store/coffee shop - a woman after my own heart. But a person can only say so much about an issue before it gets insanely redundant. Therefore, I have decided to explain the issue in lyric, as I generally like to do with the things that are so difficult to explain in regular conversation. So, without further ado:

in only a brief time I have come to know you
in an even shorter time I came to thoroughly enjoy you.
Given a length of time, possibilities abound
and all the idiosyncrasies that compose you
could turn a life around

Never given ample opportunity to truly tell you
all the things that overwhelm me about you
all the things that you are self-conscious about
is precisely what makes me blush when I'm with you
even after such a short time, I feel like I'm without

I wish I knew what the issue is
I wish I could be inside your head
I'd like to know what's holding you back
I'd like to be holding you now

Its apparent now what I need to tell you
but am I prepared to do what I should do
and tell you what my friends advise me
to not reflect interest or even hang with you
and leave you a sadder life bereft of me

I wish I knew what the issue is
I wish I could be inside your head
I'd like to know what's holding you back
and nothing more than hold you now

first some things you should know about you
the things that drive me wild about you
smile, taste, profundity, compassion and fun
perfect qualities, unique to only you
its all too easy to err and jump the gun

Overall, there is something special about you
I'd love the chance to spend more time with you
but I guess game over and so's the fun
cause as much as I would like to show you
me, I'm afraid it must be done.

I wish I knew what the issue is
I wish I could be laying in your bed
I'd like to know what held you back
I'd like to be in your hold now.


So, theres that. I wrote it quickly, so its a bit rough, but real nonetheless (there are some more personal lines that have been substituted for the sake of not making anyone more self-conscious, including myself). Its a bit hard sharing this knowing that you will read it, but still worth any tribulations just to share a little more. Just as the famous idiom claims: any of you is too much, all of you is not enough. Its ridiculous how true cliches are. Anyone should feel to chime in and make fun, I expect it.

Ode pt. 1

okay, so I am fresh off two weeks of binging, not just as far as alcohol goes but life in general. Don't get me wrong, I went out last night, but took it very easy as opposed to the last few weeks. I must say that last night I had some great conversation with Abby, who might be the smartest girl I know. We were at Chili's with Sab and Lacey from work and talking about Plato and Scotus. I rarely have the opportunity to listen to and talk about the intellectual figures that have been so important in my formation as a human being. When I was still in St. Louis, it was par for the course, but here not so much. Abby and I later talked about what it means to accomplish goals in life - she really has a phenomenal understanding of the world around her.

On a much different note, the Ode, is actually to a girl. Many of my friends don't even know about her. We only hung out for a little more than a week or so, but before that saw each other sparingly and I would call her occasionally when I was going out. Very randomly, I asked her if she wanted to go out sometime and she thought that might be cool. The subsequent days were just rad. I haven't had genuine fun with a new person in quite some time, it was very refreshing. Everything about her is pretty much perfect. She can handle my sarcasm, she is bright enough to keep up with any conversation topic, she likes good music for the most part, she loves to laugh and something about her is very beautiful to me. However, after an entirely exhaustive week of talking on the phone till ungodly hours of the morning, like cheesy highschoolers, or hanging out late but loving every second of it, she played the "I think we might be better off as friends" card. Keeping in mind that I am not one to often pursue a relationship with new people, I was a bit crushed. I was not really expecting for her to suggest that yet and certainly wasn't expecting to care as much as I do. She is really all I have thought about for the past two weeks or so. Not because I became uber attached or anything, but more because I enjoy thinking about her. I don't know where things will go from here, we have talked and whatnot and both want to hang out, but I don't want to think of her as a friend. Again, not because I am incapable of doing so, I will if I have to. By now, how many friends does a person need? Who knows, we may end up being really great friends in the future, but how long will I have to pretend that things are fine. The worst part of it is, I didn't care about anything but hanging out, I genuinely haven't enjoyed a person's company in a very long time. But the fact that for a little while hanging out had that sense of excitement means that hanging out without it is going to be lacking something.

All that aside, I am very upset with myself for being vulnerable. Don't get me wrong, most of my friends know how I get sometimes, but the people who don't know me as well, or think that they do, have no clue that I can be anything but a sarcastic ass who lets things roll off as if they didn't even happen. I realize again why that is; this is ridiculous. I feel like I am overwhelmed by the mere opportunity that I had before me and somehow messed it up, but at the same time know that I didn't. Doing something wrong can be fixed, just not working out is the blow that really hurts. I never even had the opportunity to tell her all the things that were awesome about her, and I was still finding new ones. In the end, oh well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.